Third Day

Well, It is nearly time to go bed, and I have the hungry empty feeling there. Not only that I feel like I weigh a lot less over night. I don't know if it the high heels I am wearing today that make my legs look like sticks, it could help.

And I can't say I have ate just lettuce leaves and fish. I actually didn't have breakfast, then went to the barbacue, and had bread, sauce and meat. I stopped eating before everyone else, I don't like to feel stuffed, it makes me nervous. I didn't even have my chocolate fairy cake which was for dessert, it was supposed to be for later but the family pounced on it and ate it before I could say bastards. After quite a few hours I didn't eat anything else, and quite late at night I had some chocolate and a small box of pringles. They are a con, 1 euro and there are hardy 10 pringles in the tub. I didn't feel satisfied, and I also had a few bread things with marge on, but I still felt unsatisfied. What I really wanted was the tallerines al pesto I had in the cupobard. However, I felt really guilty making something like that, especially knowing that I would serve it with bread and butter (even better with chips). I can't go back on my diet, however much it may seem my diet isn't that good. But at the moment it is good enough to lose weight. I will improve the quality of the food I eat as I go along.

I had a strange experience last night. Some people say that they have a spiritual revelation. Well I had a knowledge revelation. I was trying to read a book about positive energy, though my concentration is at a poor level. And all of a sudden (I wasn't reading at that moment) I could see so clearly where I have gone wrong in the last years of my life. It was so sharp I actually recorded it on my mp3, I actually felt more happy than anything else, because being so aware meant that I could repair what was wrong. Basically I realized how many things I could be doing to put things right in my life, and how few I do in comparison with what I could be doing. This feeling is with me all the time now, and I actually heard myself thanking God for giving me the feeling. (I won't go into what or who God is), I just said it. One thing is basically getting on with what is left of my losing weight activity instead of dragging it out and just get to that size where I feel thin and comfortable. That feeling was what stopped me when 10 minutes ago, I really felt I had to have the tallerines. The feeling means I just can't put anything off to a tomorrow in the future, I am already in a path, that is how I feel. This knowledge goes far behond losing weight, but it is an important part. It may sound like a lot of rubbish, but the feeling was very clear, like a bright light of truth that will guide me.

ANYWAY official weigh in on Wednesday and then I will put up my stats (finally).

This is a song I like and have put it in my mp3 (not the video, just the song, even if I could have video should I want)